In a few weeks, it’ll be a year since he left me. It seems almost unbelievable.
I’m doing pretty good, except he still haunts my dreams. I dream about him all the time. I usually can’t remember these dreams clearly when I wake up; only the leftover emotions. It’s always about him leaving, or being angry at me. It’s always hurtful and traumatic.
When will I find peace?
I’m going through the motions, I’m meeting guys, dating. But he still haunts me.
I think my problem is that I still blame everything on myself. I still feel that it should have worked, it would have worked, if only I hadn’t been so insecure and so scared of losing him. If I could have found peace, back then.
I don’t want this anymore. I want to be free of him, free to move on, meet someone else and finally be happy. But how can I, when I’m afraid I’ll just ruin the next relationship, too?
